On February 26th I posted a story titled 'Personal Etiquette of Flying', I've decided to continue this thread and post other stories on Etiquette and how to get through life in the most positive way possible.
Friendship is something I throw myself into. I have many friends, so I am lucky. Some are very close to me, (almost family), and some, are drifters who float in and out and make my life complete in a casual sort of way. As our parents told us, 'you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family'. Often our friends are closer to us then our brothers or sisters, but in my case.........their all on the same level.
Now my closest friends are the rocks that I cling to in my busy life. They use a mature mix of common-sense, intelligence and are all very secure with themselves and the way they live their lives. I understand no-one is perfect, but they are pretty damn close!
People often confuse friendships with therapy. There are Good Toxic Friends, and there are Bad Toxic Friends. Good Toxic Friends are the ones who have a good heart, but continually burden you with their problems because you're a good person, and you listen. Bad Toxic Friends are the ones that bring a negative energy into the friendship, deflate your every move, and leave only to return when they need/want something. This is not a good friend. Now I am intelligent enough to know, that no matter how great a friend we are, negativity does creep in from time to time and that's ok, because we all have bad days, but when it gets to the point of immaturity and paranoia, that's when we need to take a step back and create a check-list. Do we really need this person in our life?
People need to evaluate themselves when it comes to friendship. If your friends are dropping like flies, then usually it's you that's the problem, and not them. People should respect friendship rather then continually look down on it. If someone gives you a compliment, then you should accept it rather then de-construct it. Having a friend who's insecure is similar to a friend with bulk negativity, there's no future for a friendship based on insecurity, because that's when it becomes hard work. If you walk away from a true friend because of your own insecurities then you did'nt deserve that friend in the first place! Take a minute to think about all your friends. How many would lend you money? How many of them call you once a day? And most improtantly, how many would be there for you when you really need them? Like family, we all need friends, some people would disagree with this, and usually, these people are the one's who have no motivation to make friends.
Friendships are based on honesty, support, guidance and a little trust, along with sincerity, laughter, warmth and love. A friendship should have all of these, and if it does'nt then you need to re-evaluate things. You can't have love if you don't have the support! You can't have laughter if you don't have sincerity! Being a good friend requires not much effort. Returning phone calls and texts, giving compliments and being there as soon as possible to help repair their wounds are some of the keys to a great friendship. Committment to Friendship is very important, and like with alot of things, we'll always get a reward.
People will say nasty things to make themselves seem like the better person, they'll make excuses, digress and lie, but at the end of the day, you know the truth, and when you're surrounded by the divine friendships you bask in there's no need to worry about friendships lost. As hard as it is, you know you've done the best for that friendship possible, and if there's a wall stopping you from going further into the friendship, there's no reason why you should try to knock it down. Move on, prosper and have a fucking good time!
It's sad to think that there are people out there who have no friends, maybe they like that, or maybe they just do the friendship thing badly, either way, we all deserve someone in our life who we love but who we don't have sex with, but more importantly, have genuine fun with!
The Personal Etiquette of Friendship is quite simple; use commonsense, be genuine and NEVER take anything personnally, because true friends are always going to be honest, and no-one likes a person with no sense of humour! And if you're going to abuse someone, then at least be perfect before you do it.
At the end of the day, sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will always make us stronger, and when those people are left alone on a Saturday night, it's the lack of words that will send them insane!
Karma is not only a bitch, it's man's best friend!
PS. Read 'Charlotte's Web'.
Cocktail.
Kinder
The Raveonettes.
Night Hotel
Shoe Repair.
