PERSONAL ETIQUETTE OF FLYING.

As I am a frequent flyer, I was recently asked to make a list of 'What to Do' and 'What not to Do' on longhaul flights. This was a very easy question to answer and before I knew it, I had enough STEPS OF ETIQUETTE to write a book, some I'll keep to myself, but the following consists of suggestions to make that 15 hour flight to LA etc, easier, more comfortable and of course quicker!!

**NEVER wear anything WHITE. That includes underwear. If you do, you're quaranteed to spill red wine and the contents of your chicken korma all down the front. And once that happens, there's no going back. You'll always be the man/woman with the filthy shirt, and god help you if it falls in your lap!

**As you can no longer take big bottles of water with you onboard, insist on having the cabin crew furnish you with enough water. The bigger aircraft have small water fountains throughout the aircraft. There is nothing worse then being dehydrated on a long flight, and most people have no idea they are.

**DON'T drink alchohol. Quite simple for some, but for others an International flight spells OPEN BAR! The alchohol dehydrates you and as the old saying goes, 'one in the air equals two on the ground'. No-one likes a drunk person.....especially on a plane, and especially when the booze starts to seap from their pores. It'll always make the onward journey so much more painful!!

**If your flight departs late at night, try very hard not to eat onboard. Eat dinner before your flight on the ground, and eat something healthy. There's nothing worse then being fed a full hot meal at 1am in the morning. The food stimulates the senses, and falling asleep could prove an excercise in futility. Take fruit, but eat it before you get off.

**DON'T take sleeping tablets. If you take one, and it does'nt work, your in trouble. If you take one and drink alchohol, you may be the reason why the aircraft is diverting to Jakarta. No-one likes an hallucinating passenger, especially at 35, 000 feet!!

**ALWAYS wear footwear into the tiolets. They are classed as Public Amenities, and what's on the floor may not be water!! And for your information, socks do nothing but absorb!!!

**Take your own neck pillow. Enough said.

**UPKEEP your appearance. Respect your skin and moisturize. Take a face atomizer and stay fresh. Don't spray parfum or cologne in the cabin and always fly with no product in your hair.

People who wear hairspray, gel, mousse, etc, always end up looking like they've been in a car crash. And only wear the basic of make-up. Your skin needs to breathe and just because your heading to Tokyo does'nt mean you have to go Kabuki.

**Listen to the Cabin Crew. They know they're job better then you, no matter how much you fly. Procurring a friendly relationship with your Cabin Crew allows you more chance of aquiring service at all times. They are, after all, human too.

**Take as little as possible on board with you, that way, you have less chance of leaving something behind.

**Always fly Premium Economy, Business or better still, First.

If you own a business, it's taxable. If you don't, then save. You'll be thanking me afterwards.

**Choose a Full Service Airline. Despite what people think, no bastard likes to pay extra for bad food, soft pillows and entertainment.

Bon Voyage!!

PS. The above pictures are of the new products on the Qantas A380, coming soon to our skies.

http://www.qantas.com/

FALL 2008 MILAN.

Pucci.
Giorgio Armani.

Luisa Beccaria.
Pringle of Scotland.
Missoni.

Fendi
Gianfranco Ferre.
Burberry Prorsum.
Bottega Veneta

The garments coming down the runway at the ready-to-wear collections in Milan last week, were wearable and desirable, but nothing was core-shaking. There was some techincal mastery from some designers, but overall, alot of the clothes were similar to what we've seen before.

The above, may not have been complete standouts for me, but they all remind me of one of my friends and therefore, could be worn here in Brisbane, comes this winter.

Ciao!

DROPPING THE ATTITUDE.

As you all know, this is a blog devised by me and me only, and because of this I pretty much own it, and because I own it, I can say whatever I damn well please. Now I may not have much style myself, but I know alot about it. I don't own a Store. I am not a Designer, and I don't get paid to do this. The opinions in this Blog are of my own creation, albeit, alot of people give ideas through conversations etc.

Now, although alot of people out there dress not to standard, everyone has a right to wear whatever they want. If a size 16 woman wants to wear a size 10 Herve' Leger tube dress, then who am I to stop her. If she's comfortable and confidant enough to wear it, then more power to her. If a guy wants to wear Skinny Jeans, and they feel at home having their gentials contortioned into what resembles a post-op sex changed vagina, then bless 'em!

What pisses me off constantly, are the people working in the Fashion Trade who hang shit on people who don't seem to be the 'perfect' customer. Besides Victoria Beckham, how many other mutli-millionaire celebrities or just multi-millionaires in general, do you think shop in couture........not many! When someone walks into a shop or a department store, what right do we have to judge them. That man wearing ruggers could be worth a fortune, he could also have contacts in the Media. You never, never know.

I have many friends who are fortunate to have been born into money or have accumulated it through hard work. Most love the finer things in life, but don't usually dress like you expect them to, especially day to day. But when it comes time to show off, out comes the Rochas, the Lanvin, the YSL, the Dries Van Noten and the Brioni.

The reason for this posting is because alot of people I know have experienced attitude from Sales Assistants, and without being too bitchy, at that moment in time, that's all they are, Sales Assistants! Just because someone does'nt look like they have money, does'nt mean they don't have any. Look at Britney!

My advice to all Brisbane Sales Assistants is, see a shrink, because 'Snobby Sales Assistant Syndrome' is always uglier then the clothes those so-called 'plebs' are wearing, and eventually they're the ones paying your average wage and keeping you in a job straightening coathangers and folding jeans.

As I've said before, although Brisbane is growing, it's still a big country town, and word get's around very quickly. At the end of the day, that person you turned away or rubbished, could be the husband, or the wife of someone very,very important.

Think before you act, and as the saying goes....."You only work in a shop you know, you can drop the attitude".

THE SHOE LOVER.

If your a fan of the shoe, but Jean Brown is a little too steep for your budget, then a new shoe boutique has opened in Paddington. ALSKA will fullfill any girls shoe fetish, no matter what her taste.

The store has only been opened since January, but already the shoes are walking out the door (excuse the pun). Owner Trish Holland, who's style is as immaculate as her taste in men, welcomes you to ALSKA.

Alska

Shop 2/191

Given Terrace

Paddington 4064

(07) 3367 2745

EXTENDING CIRCUMSTANCES.

After many requests, I have been motivated yet again to talk about another re-ocurring faux pas some Brisbane women have been practising.

Hair Extensions!

Why do most get this wrong? Do they not realise, like a Fake Tan, there is upkeep involved, or do they continually think that no-one will EVER know.

Now there are some women out there who extend their locks in the proper, respectful way, but there are others who are performing HAIR-I KARI.

The purpose of extensions, is to create a healthy, clean head of hair that resembles your own, and fools everyone in sight.

Many women are just too lazy to care. Soon enough their own hair grows, receeding the extensions, and the joints look like metal staples, before you know it, passersby are asking if you've had brain surgery! Not good.

The problem I have, is the women who are'nt concerned about the crop-rotation taking place on their heads, maybe they can't afford the return visit to the hairdresser, extensions can be expensive and the tightening does create headaches. No matter what, this does not give you permission to turn into FRANKEN-WOMAN. And really, who the fuck wants to?

Another common problem is the ladies with thin hair wearing thick hair extensions. Some women like a little layering, but when you step out of the salon looking like John Farnham circa 1987, that's when it's time to stop, oh and by the way, Makybe Diva called, she wants her mane back!!

So finally, all of you considering going longer, consider it again. There are other options, and believe me research should be involved. Because with the wrong canvas to begin with, you don't have a hope in hell, just ask Victoria Beckham, or Britney even!

I've got two words for you. BLADE. ONE.

FALL 2008 LONDON.

Nathan Jenden
Erdem

Luella
Jens Laugesen
Louise Goldin

Eley Kishimoto
Christopher Kane

London Fashion Week, like New York was an eclectic mix of colour, texture and directional shapes. I personally don't think people are asking "who's the next McQueen" anymore, as designers like Christopher Kane, Louis Goldin and perenial favourite Luella Bartley cemented success once again.

Although nothing radically new appeared, some designers surprised with original pieces that not only were completely wearable, but extremely easy on the eye........some on the other hand, did'nt!

The above are some of my favourites.

GUCCI GUCCI GOO!

For all those brave Brisbane women out there (you know who you are), here are two extremely sexy shoes to add your ever expanding collection.

The Gucci 'NEWTON' Peek-a-Boo Bootie available as a slip on or lace up is one of the hottest Booties on the market.

The Slip-on is available in Black Patent Leather with ankle guard in light Gold leather, and the Lace-up is in Black Patent Leather with White Leather Piping. These 4/12 inch Heels will be the Big Ticket Item for Winter........and don't worry about your toes getting cold, I'm sure any Man who see's you wearing these, will be more then happy to keep you warm!!

http://www.gucci.com/

Gucci

Shop 6, The Morroccan

9 Elkhorn Avenue

Surfers Paradise

(07) 5531 6966

SON OF THE ESTABLISHMENT.

A piece of furniture (those who know me, know how much I love my furntiure), caught my eye recently and I must get my hands on it.

The 'DE LA WARR PAVILION' Chair designed by Barberosgerby for ESTABLISHED & SONS, is nothing more then a simple outdoor (or casual indoor) chair that is both stylish and useable.

How wonderful would it be as a seat in a cafe?

http://www.establishedandsons.com/ (Great Website).

BANG WENT THE BASS.

If like me you already have the BOSE MP3 Docking Station, and you now require something permanent for your dining room for those intimate candelight suppers, then look no further my dinner companions then BANG & OLUFSEN.

The BEOLAB 4 PC can attach to your iPod or PC, and is optimised to bring stereo sound to any volume you desire. They come in four colours, Blood Red, Royal Blue, Ash Grey and Black, and will be a welcomed addition to your home entertainment system.

Desert's never been sweeter!!

Bang &Olufsen

50 James Street

Fortitude Valley, QLD

(07) 33586811

http://www.bang-olufsen.com/

CLUTCH & RUN.

How pretty is the Prade satin clutch with rosette detail. Such a lovely accessory for any type of outfit. My favourite is the Mint Green version with Violet and Aqua Rosettes. (Not Shown)

Wash your hands before and after every use. This clutch requires respect and safe-keeping.

Ahhh Prada, You've Done it Again!

Prada.

Shop 1, The Morrocan

11 Elkhorn Avenue

Surfers Paradise.

(07) 5539 8858

http://www.prada.com/

FALL 2008 NEW YORK.

Monique Lhuillier
Proenza Schouler

Vera Wang
Zac Posen

Marchesa
Karen Walker
Jonothan Saunders
Derek Lam

With the Fall Collections taking place in New York in the first week of Feb, the catwalk consisted heavily of coats and other winter-esque pieces, which, as we know, is world's away from Brisbane, but fits perfect in the New Yorker wardobe.

Although New York is a part of the Fab Four; Milan, Paris and even London are steps ahead. Now it may be the American brashness and the 'in-your-face-but-not-in-a-good-way' styling that pisses me off, but for every minor catastrophe, there were some higlights (in my eyes).

Despite several standout-fits, there was nothing original about any of it. Seen it all before, and still bored with it.

But as with every Fashion week, from Sao Paulo to Reykjavik, and even Sydney, there's always someone who makes me smile.

Even if it's through gritted teeth!

SUMMER/AUTUMN TUNES.

Here are my recommendations for some late summer music. Now, I know they won't be to everyone's taste and standard, but hey, this is my blog and that's all that matters!

1.'Jukebox' by CAT POWER.
2.'Watershed' by KD LANG.
3.'Falling Off the Lavender Tree' by Lightspeed Champion.
4.'Sleep Through the Static' by Jack Johnson.

Available from all good records stores. Although 'Falling off the Lavender Tree' may have to be ordered. Or try Amazon.com.

(Album Covers to your right)

TO QLD. WITH LOVE FROM RUSSIA.

The February Issue of RUSSIAN VOGUE is Neon Colour Central and screams Surfers Paradise.

Let's hope women invited to the David Jones Party tonight take note. It is a party after all, and we are in Queensland.

Turn to Page 301 and wear Sunglasses.

Party On!

IF THE CHOO FITS, WEAR IT!

Just so you all know. JIMMY CHOO has opened it's first Australian store.

Located on Castlereagh Street, it's just a hop, skip and a waddle from Gucci, Chanel and of course Prada. To be exact, it's next door to Cartier, and across the road from Tiffany & Co and Escada!

PS. The new David Jones store in QueensPlaza also stocks JIMMY CHOO'S, just in case you hate flying!!

Ahhhhhhh Choo. Bless You!

Jimmy Choo
41 Castlereagh Street,
Sydney NSW 2000
(02) 8666 0606

http://www.jimmychoo.com/

FAVOURITE THINGS. FEBRUARY 2008.

Here are some things I consider user friendly for the month of February. Try your hardest to get your hands on them or feet in them.....you know what I mean.

1.ZOUK SINGAPORE. One of the coolest clubs in Asia. Forget MINISTRY OF SOUND down the road, ZOUK is quintessentially THE place to go in Singapore. Awesome sounds, Great Barstaff and Interiors to knock-your-socks-off. Instead of flying direct to Europe. Have a layover, followed by a hangover. Sweet As!

2.ZEGNA SPORT SOLAR JACKET. How wonderful would it be to look cool walking down the street, while your iPod is re-charging at the same time. The new ZEGNA SPORT SOLAR JKT can do just that. And if you don't own an iPod (hello, loser), you can re-charge your mobile phone or better still, your PDA. How is this possible you ask? Well, solar panels are fitted on the collar, effectively making the wearer a walking generator. Made from lightweight material, it's not only technologically advanced, it's bloody attractive as well. Available from Ermengildo Zegna (Not in Australia). Retails for around AUD$1500.

3.ACQUA DE PARMA COLOGNE. Acqua de Parma's only cologne for Men, 'Colonia Intensa' is one of the best smells around. It knocks Giorgio Armani's 'Attitude' off the top of the list.
Sexy and Subtle at the same time.

4.CULT ASIAN LABEL 'RAOUL'. Despite stocking Womenswear and Accessories. The Menswear Collections from this Singapore based brand is in some cases more popular then some European Heavyweights. The Business Shirts in particular are second to none. Take a Look and take a gamble. A Sydney store is on the Horizon.

5.LUXURY CANDLE. When 'L'Artisan Parfumeur' & 'Bottega Veneta' collaborate, the world's most divine (and expensive) Candle is born. The 'L'ARTISAN PARFUMEUR POUR BOTTEGA VENETA INTRECCIO No2' Candle evokes summery visuals through it's scent of Basil, Cypress and Pine. The scent is so fragrant, you may not even have to light it. And at $300, you may NEVER!

6.PIG SERVING TRAY. if you already own the Horse, then why not invest in it's bacon Counterpart. Available from MOOOI, this little black porker will rest your martini for hours on end. Although outrageously expensive, and incredibly stupid, it does come in black, so it goes with everything!!!

7.BRITISH VOGUE. Although Vogue Paris is my favourite, it's British cousin continues to attract more of my attention. Kate Moss (yet again) graces the March 2008 Issue, but it's what's inside that counts. Intelligent articles preside, which is a nice change from the usual arrogance you get from US Vogue. Fashion overtakes Celebrity, therefore making for a lovely afternoon of reading.
Anarchy in the UK, but in a really good way!!!

So there you have it, more then five, but less then ten favourite things for February 2008. Try or Buy, Dream or Destroy. Either way, I know what I want......and usually, I get it!

FESTATION.

Ok, I will prepare for the onslaught I'll get from this posting, but on the request of many people I am motivated to write about it.

Skinny Jeans. Why?

Now on some people these spray-on-catastrophes-in-denim look ok, albeit your a 6 foot tall Supermodel or a member of The Strokes. But to the average amatuer band member or gen y'er, they're nothing more then an incubation for sweat and genital origami.

If your slim/thin/whatever, they still look bizarre, especially if your a bloke. I mean, we all love our 'tackle' and without it we'd rather be dead, so for fuck sake, why wear something that makes you look like you tuck and fold. No respectable straight man, or gay for that matter want the post-op tranny Tag! Our genitals are there for a reason, why hide the bastards?

As I've said before, men take trends, wear them to death and right before they get over it, the trend rears it's ugly head and it's a REVIVAL.....this is not good.

The only everyday people who can get away with the skinny jean are the teenaged emo's and skateheads walking the city. They have not one inch of fat on them and the look comes across natural and comfortable. Why thin men want to look even more emaciated then they are, is beyond me. Androgony is one thing, but the amount of male Amy Winehouse's running around town is hilarious.

Whatever happend to the Levi's Hunk? I bet they're 5 stone overweight and wearing skinny jeans. And this takes me to my other gripe.............

..............................LARGER MEN WEARING SKINNING JEANS!!!

Please, do the world a favour, peel yourself out of this cocoon you've created, air your nuts and stop kidding yourself.

The skinny jean will continue to be worn no matter what anyone says, especially me. So if your over 20, weigh 60 kilos and resemble a stick insect, think again about your jean situation.

Because unless your in a successful band, or working the runway in Milan, they're beginning to look a little tired.

Hedi Slimane, I blame you!