FESTATION.

Ok, I will prepare for the onslaught I'll get from this posting, but on the request of many people I am motivated to write about it.

Skinny Jeans. Why?

Now on some people these spray-on-catastrophes-in-denim look ok, albeit your a 6 foot tall Supermodel or a member of The Strokes. But to the average amatuer band member or gen y'er, they're nothing more then an incubation for sweat and genital origami.

If your slim/thin/whatever, they still look bizarre, especially if your a bloke. I mean, we all love our 'tackle' and without it we'd rather be dead, so for fuck sake, why wear something that makes you look like you tuck and fold. No respectable straight man, or gay for that matter want the post-op tranny Tag! Our genitals are there for a reason, why hide the bastards?

As I've said before, men take trends, wear them to death and right before they get over it, the trend rears it's ugly head and it's a REVIVAL.....this is not good.

The only everyday people who can get away with the skinny jean are the teenaged emo's and skateheads walking the city. They have not one inch of fat on them and the look comes across natural and comfortable. Why thin men want to look even more emaciated then they are, is beyond me. Androgony is one thing, but the amount of male Amy Winehouse's running around town is hilarious.

Whatever happend to the Levi's Hunk? I bet they're 5 stone overweight and wearing skinny jeans. And this takes me to my other gripe.............

..............................LARGER MEN WEARING SKINNING JEANS!!!

Please, do the world a favour, peel yourself out of this cocoon you've created, air your nuts and stop kidding yourself.

The skinny jean will continue to be worn no matter what anyone says, especially me. So if your over 20, weigh 60 kilos and resemble a stick insect, think again about your jean situation.

Because unless your in a successful band, or working the runway in Milan, they're beginning to look a little tired.

Hedi Slimane, I blame you!