DEAR BRITNEY..........

Dear Britney,

Over the last few years you have come under severe scrutiny regarding your wardrobe (amongst other things), and I am putting my hand up to assist you on the road to recovery.

Now, your a multi-millionaire, so you really have no excuse, having money is important, because clothes can be expensive.....even the FREE ones. Another thing that comes to my attention is your DIY styling, which is where you go very wrong, you need to stop this NOW! Also, you obviously and unknowingly surround yourself with dishonest people who think it's ok for you to go to Starbucks looking like a cross between Anna Piaggi, a Sunset Blvd Hooker, and a seven year old.

Quite simply, they're laughing behind your back, like the rest of the world!!

I understand that the VPL is ghastly, but a delicate thong would suffice for now. La Perla would be more then happy to equip you with the basics. No-one wants to see what you had for breakfast......especially when it's served raw!!!

I have selected a few looks from Australian Fashion Week 2007 for your perusal, and I hope you agree with my selection. Because after all Ms Spears, despite what people say, you do have some talent, (as apposed to all those other industry scraggs) and it would be a shame to accompany those talents with the 'needs-a-good-scrub' look you got going now!!

Have some self-respect. No-one likes a Star who stinks, especially when it comes to Fashion.