I know I am not perfect, and maybe because I am aware of this, I can be as explicit in my words as I am with my thoughts.
So Here Goes:
Please, to all those women SELF TANNING themselves out there, "YOU HAVE TO FUCKING STOP"! This addiction is getting out of hand, and it is serious.
I am fed up with being in contact with women who have FAKE TANNED themselves within an inch of their lives. Our hands were not meant to be the colour of baby shit, post weaning, and I don't want to seem rude, but don't get me started on the 40+ women who are trying to turn back time by slapping on the FAKE TAN! It's bad enough you look like Gordon Tallis, but please, if you want to look like a piece of KFC Hot & Spicy, then cranola yourself up and head to Noosa.
So many of you think it is completely acceptable, but it's not. If I wanted to see an Autopsy, I'd subscribe to the Discovery Channel. Alot of you get it very wrong, and I am fed up with it. The only place Streaks, Blotches and Smears are allowed, is in Hospital!
And here's a hint, if your trying to FAKE something, then at least do it well, because under those lights at FAMILY, you all look like Donatella on a bender, and that's just plain nasty!
Most of us like a little colour on our skin, which is fine, but if your gonna FAKE it, then do it the proper way.....with a professsional. And when I say professional, I don't mean your bestie, two minutes before you head out to the Victory. You need it done so it stays on and fades evenly, and you need to listen to the RULES about FAKE TAN UPKEEP, before it becomes PISSTAKE!
You see, if the TAN is'nt respected, when you dance and begin to sweat, all we see is a garden sprinkler, pelting innocent people with liquid the colour of a diabetes speciman......and that my friend, is quite simply, Bad Manners!
For the Best Spray Tan, call SASCHA@BRONZ'D 0413 883 346
16 comments:
I saw this sad little thing traipsing down James Street this morning, looking as orange as a BCC road worker's safety vest. The sight of this gave my hangover a very unwanted rev-up.
Tragic, Tragic, Tragic.
Ken
It's true, some chicks just don't know when to fucking stop. Seeing my shirts covered in their makeup is one thing, but fake tan, it just pisses me off!
Dougal, City.
this is one of the funniest things I have read. and it's true. chicks have no idea.
Orange girls are the ugliest, and they have NO idea about the stains on their body! they get no-where with me!!!
Alot of girls have no idea how bad their fake tan is. They look just awful! V.
Very, very funny & very, very true.x
This article is spot on funny!
can't stand the chicks with different coloured hands, ouch! dave.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGLY!!!!
The thing is, no one tells these girls that they are orange, we all just let them roam the earth like Jaffa's with legs! It's very bad!!
choice!
Attack of the Orange People!!! Just like the women who think they're blonde, but they're actually YELLOW!!!!!
girls have no idea. so many owe me dry cleaning money from all the fake tan covering my clothes....stupid biahtches!!
They're all coloured blind!!!!!!!!
The horrid color your palms turn after using that fake rub on tan is foul. A good professional spray tan is the way to go. I've gotten one off Sascha and it was amazing it looked totally natural. I highly recommend Sascha if you plan on faking it.
Great article.
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