PERSONAL ETIQUETTE OF FLYING.

As I am a frequent flyer, I was recently asked to make a list of 'What to Do' and 'What not to Do' on longhaul flights. This was a very easy question to answer and before I knew it, I had enough STEPS OF ETIQUETTE to write a book, some I'll keep to myself, but the following consists of suggestions to make that 15 hour flight to LA etc, easier, more comfortable and of course quicker!!

**NEVER wear anything WHITE. That includes underwear. If you do, you're quaranteed to spill red wine and the contents of your chicken korma all down the front. And once that happens, there's no going back. You'll always be the man/woman with the filthy shirt, and god help you if it falls in your lap!

**As you can no longer take big bottles of water with you onboard, insist on having the cabin crew furnish you with enough water. The bigger aircraft have small water fountains throughout the aircraft. There is nothing worse then being dehydrated on a long flight, and most people have no idea they are.

**DON'T drink alchohol. Quite simple for some, but for others an International flight spells OPEN BAR! The alchohol dehydrates you and as the old saying goes, 'one in the air equals two on the ground'. No-one likes a drunk person.....especially on a plane, and especially when the booze starts to seap from their pores. It'll always make the onward journey so much more painful!!

**If your flight departs late at night, try very hard not to eat onboard. Eat dinner before your flight on the ground, and eat something healthy. There's nothing worse then being fed a full hot meal at 1am in the morning. The food stimulates the senses, and falling asleep could prove an excercise in futility. Take fruit, but eat it before you get off.

**DON'T take sleeping tablets. If you take one, and it does'nt work, your in trouble. If you take one and drink alchohol, you may be the reason why the aircraft is diverting to Jakarta. No-one likes an hallucinating passenger, especially at 35, 000 feet!!

**ALWAYS wear footwear into the tiolets. They are classed as Public Amenities, and what's on the floor may not be water!! And for your information, socks do nothing but absorb!!!

**Take your own neck pillow. Enough said.

**UPKEEP your appearance. Respect your skin and moisturize. Take a face atomizer and stay fresh. Don't spray parfum or cologne in the cabin and always fly with no product in your hair.

People who wear hairspray, gel, mousse, etc, always end up looking like they've been in a car crash. And only wear the basic of make-up. Your skin needs to breathe and just because your heading to Tokyo does'nt mean you have to go Kabuki.

**Listen to the Cabin Crew. They know they're job better then you, no matter how much you fly. Procurring a friendly relationship with your Cabin Crew allows you more chance of aquiring service at all times. They are, after all, human too.

**Take as little as possible on board with you, that way, you have less chance of leaving something behind.

**Always fly Premium Economy, Business or better still, First.

If you own a business, it's taxable. If you don't, then save. You'll be thanking me afterwards.

**Choose a Full Service Airline. Despite what people think, no bastard likes to pay extra for bad food, soft pillows and entertainment.

Bon Voyage!!

PS. The above pictures are of the new products on the Qantas A380, coming soon to our skies.

http://www.qantas.com/